After a long winter, lots of family gatherings for traditional and/or religious holidays, and a general sense of helplessness in the world today, spring still feels like a welcome respite from months of short days and cold temperatures.
New plant and animal life joins the world, and with it, why not greet the warmer days with some hilarious jokes and puns you can share with your friends and loved ones to give them a much-needed laugh.
A highly humorous, well-timed joke can change the mood of the room when family tension becomes unbearable, can give you a much-needed boost of endorphins, and can even alter the perceptions of the depressed.
NOTE: Be sure to also check out my list of tree jokes and puns or my list of leave jokes and puns as well!
Laughter also has healing qualities. Increased blood flow, oxygen flow, and flexing of the muscles all occur during a hearty chuckle. Perhaps its time to tell a joke or two and make someone’s day.
Table Of Contents - Click To Expand Or Hide -->
Flower Jokes to Share This Spring
Learn a few of these, share them at the office or dinner party, and you’ll be spreading some love and joy in a new and gleeful way:
Did you hear about the flower that went on a date with another flower?
It is a budding romance.
Why is a flower like the letter “a?”
Because a bee goes after it.
For Valentine’s Day she received a bundle of flowers with the heads cut off.
She thinks she might be getting stalked.
A man gets kicked out of his home by his wife after she asked him if he knew her favorite flower.
His answer was “Gold Medal All Purpose.”
My wife complains that I never buy her flowers.
I didn’t even know she sold flowers.
What did the bank-robbing flower say to the getaway driver?
Floret!!
A man enters a flower shop and asks to buy some flowers.
The shopkeeper asks what kind. The man stammers, mutters, but eventually looks at the ground in dismay. “Well,” says the shopkeeper, “what have you done that requires flowers for forgiveness?”
He was about to answer, then thought better of it. “Where are you going?” the shopkeeper asked. “To a jewelry store,” he replied.
A man passes his friend’s home and notices his poppies are blooming beautifully.
He had to ask the homeowner how this could be, as the poppies were dead the previous day. The owner told him they weren’t poppies, but rein-carnations.
The mob opens a flower shop in a neighborhood without one, and as the only shop, controls the flower sales for the whole area.
A little time goes by when unexpectedly a rival shop opens across the street. They intend to go rough up the owners, only to find out they are friars, and the mob guys being good Catholics, decide not to make their usual intimidating move.
After business starts to slump, the boss remembers one of his guys is an atheist.
He summons Hugh and asks if he has any issue giving the friars a good talking to with a veiled threat peppered in for effect. Hugh says, “no problem.”
The boss puts his hand on Hugh’s shoulder and turns him toward the other guys, saying, “You see this? Only Hugh can stop florist friers.”
Why do flowers with no smell confuse people?
Because they don’t make any scents.
Why do flower beds have mulch?
So you can’t see their underplants.
What do you get when you combine a flower plus a t-rex?
A very squished flower.
What did the flower say when asked why he was having trouble tying his shoes?
Sometimes, I forget me nots.
Flower Puns That Are Welcome Anytime to Entertain and Can Defuse Difficult Conversations
Ok, some of those were pretty silly, so if you cater to a more intellectual class of humor, perhaps a pun or two might be more your speed. Puns are used more than any other type of joke to ease tension and make people really ponder the words used in the joke.
Here are some hilarious examples of puns you can pepper into everyday spring conversations:
Bud
“Hey bud. How’s it growing?”
– Bud can be used for two meanings, such as buddy, or like a flower bud.
Bloom!
Like Boom, for when something unexpected or wild happens involving a flower.
Pollen
Replacing the word pulling. Like saying planting those is like “Pollen teeth.”
Petal
You are racing home with flowers, putting the petal to the metal.
Floral
Replacing for all. “Once and floral, I got those roses trimmed.”
Rose
Did he weed the flower garden? Yes, he rose to the occasion.
Bouquet
Get a flower arrangement for a sad friend, and when they smile, ask them if they are “bouquet now?”
Orchid
Replacing awkward. Like getting an orchid for someone who is allergic but having no back up option of flower puts you in an “orchid position.”
Stamena
Replacing stamina. “He showed great stamena while gardening all day.”
Leaf
Easy to replace the word leave. “Make like a tree and leaf” is a popular pun.
Lilac
Replacing “I lack,” as in, “once I start planting these flowers, Lilac the ability to stop.”
Garden variety
Simply means ordinary but can be used in many flower-related conversations if you have wit on your side.
Maybe you have some flower-related puns, jokes, or riddles. We would love to hear from you. Please share them so we might also enjoy a good springtime belly laugh and pass them on.
A laugh shared is so much more fulfilling than laughing alone. We hope you enjoyed these jokes and puns and have a joyful spring with family, friends, and even the stranger on the sidewalk or bus that looks a little down.
Raise their spirits with a flower joke. Be sure to share your favorite flower joke or pun in the comments!
